panic mantra

Little smile,
Do a little smile
It creates intrigue
Intrigue

Relax take a breathe

Honesty is a giant wall bursting out, from the top of my charkas to the bottom. Beaming out radiating out.
I noticed your happiness was a bizarre take on the situation.
The whole thing seems like a dream now.
Seeing Nail polish on my fingers reminds me that 'I am my hands',
bopping up and down , my thumbs are smiling at me.

monday night late

I write in lists Do i Think in LISTS

I have heard from various resources that women are attracted to men standing/talking with other women, even to the extent of men with wives, but that can be a double edge sword in my experience, hanging out with women means eventually means talking about feelings when a girl finds a straight man that talks about feelings they usually wanna keep him as a friend, “cos your so cute Jake and kissing you would ruin our friendship, stop touching me” so before you know it you have heaps of hot chick friends but no action.

So here are some techniques of looking approachable when your alone;

1. Phones and listening to music on headphones are a no no, with these your not alone, you are occupied, it goes MAN MACHINE not MACHINE & MAN. So how bout reading a small book, as in a book smaller in size then normal books, girls will be all like “why that book is of not regular size, its small therefore the words contained within must be important because less can be fit into such a minute receptacle’.

2. Writing in a notepad with a concentrated look face occasionally looking up briefly (as in not to be caught but you wanna be noticed) at the girl you want to attract, mouth an ‘ahh’ as if some epiphany of observation has struck you and continue writing, girls will be all like, “oh wow he must be writing poetry about me because I’m so captivatingly inspiring” which she is obviously captivating for that is the reason your looking at her…..(it helps also if you were actually writing poetry about them, this can be read at a later date, totally increasing coolness!)

3.Technique is to sit up straight  and breath in + out really deep imagining the deepness of your breath as energy expanding your aura-chi-vibe thang, I normally hear/imagine a hum as I do this, one of the side effect of method is animals are usually become attracted to you. WOW Perhaps also having a collection of kittens and puppies crawling over you, will help, LION KITTENS AND DINGO PUPS!

If you do find yourself in a group of women make sure there is something heavy that you can lift up.

A: show them your muscles 

B: wows them with your man like prowess 

and say obviously sexist things.

dephonition

the placebo effect—you believe that you are taking a pill that will make you feel better; therefore, you feel better

cold wave!

I like this song

Guy with a shirt with spaceships on it

Boy it can be hot this  summer ,witch (you know who you are bitch) can make having cold showers quite the fabulous past time (water restrictions in mind), My lovely friend Anna Maccella invented a method of keep cool called, 'Inside Beach' its where you cold shower with your bathers on. Apon getting out the temperate of your body has dropped and will stay cool as the wet bathers evaporate.
its similar to the principles of the Western Australian invention the
Coolgardie safe
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolgardie_safe
















I'm sure your legs are better then the diagrams
Another fun activity is instructed here

1. Prepare tape/digital recorder near by the shower and switch it to REC.
2. Have a warm shower and suddenly switch it to cold, if your not some hardcore bad-ass (which I'm sure you are, but please tone it down for this exercise)involentary shouts should burst from your lungs.
3. Play back your recordings, could these shouts be your ego aloud? are u channelling extra dimensional beings? is it your body, this flesh vessal you inhabit, spewing forth its true voice?? laugh at it, make friends with it (Perhaps slow it down and play it backwards for HIDDEN MESSAGES!?!)
   
4. Notice now when wlaking around during the day, how many thoughts in your head are accually yours or could they be more like the screams of the shower!?!?!?!?!?dah dah DAAAHHH ("screams of the shower" is another awesome band name)
   

"the ego is a tool to tell you to put food in your mouth not somebody elses."
the more you can notice your ego the more you can laugh at it, laughing makes you happy, happiness looks great on you and looking great attracts hot babes.

work that flack

Due to body image issues  propagated and perpetrated by the mass saturation of 'Women Magazines" that making today's women feel to fat/skinny and needing a face lift, I thought it would be nice of me being the modern renaissance man/lover of women to complement chicky-babes on like how huge their tits even if they wernt that big, i would go " hey yours breasts are massive",
"Thanks Jake your so sensitive to woman's needs", would be the obvious reply i thought.
no.
Girls started going 'huh' and questioning in aggressive tones why i was talking about their breast, my compliment had become a insult, a criticism of their appearance
This lead me to more research on identity and perception, by objectivity looking at the receivers context and how the compliment could be reworded into a more positive and relatable statement that the recipient could "identify" with.
So after market reseach and good old fashion trail and error the result is;
" cool tits babe"

'cool' comes into it, (identity, the marketing of cool, brand awareness)
"tits" (Fun, cheeky and also a type of bird, bird being another term for lady)
and "babe" (ironic and makes the term casual, women have babies, boobs feed babies)
so there you have it, a safe approach into the mysterious world of complementing 3rd tier feminists

Oh yeah I once tried "your vagania is neat like a Manila folder"

I have a shop

What's in my shop? I have alot of wonderful things, see what your wearing right now we have that in my shop, we had it last season, you should really check out the polaroids placed on the window display, polaroids to you will seem like the future sent to the past, a microwave oven shown to Jesus
 (Microwave Jesus is an awesome band name)
Also there is ice-creams and icy-poles, Ice-cream is made from cow's whilst Gelato is nut based, Lots of facts can be found.

The shop is a very exclusive, invite only affair, I could perhaps get you on the door but it will be locked, you probably will be to dazzled and not be able to understand these future artifacts, but here is a gentle tip. (the following should be read with a lisp)

1. Imagine that in your mind there is a cinema and every time you have a thought of an object it  is projected onto the screen.
2.  Think of a random object, for keeping in mystical vibe I choose the Pyramids
3.  See That familiar shape projected onto the screen in your mind
4.  OOOhh now your cinema is smokey, could it be some punk kids with ciggie's?Your crusty house-mate hiding his feet stench with burning incense? it no matter, but look up, notice the the light  trail from the projector to the screen, in that beam is where we(as in the royal) decided what's in my shop.

Red food colouring is made from crushed beetles , blood is red, woah! does that raspberry icy-poles blood poles?